Don't try this at home

If you know me well, you won't be surprised by the following revelation from my past...

On one occasion (I was about 9 years old) my stubborn little brain decided it was going to test out something I had seen on TV. Remember that scene in The Christmas Story, when some kid sticks his tongue to a frozen flagpole? I didn't believe that could really happen. To make a long story short, one day I was eager to experiment and climbed up into the freezer. I stuck my tongue to the frosted back wall...YES, it did stick. My mom saw the back end of my body dangling out the door and hollered to get out of the freezer. I yelled something back like, "HEP MMM THUCK!!"
Trying to speak had been a bad idea because as soon as my lips moved, they stuck to the freezer's wall too! In a panic, and fearful of the punishment that was sure to be coming, I didn't think of a rational solution (as in pouring warm water on my lips). I freaked out and RIPPED my face off the icy wall, leaving some of my tongue and lips there on the freezer. Yuck, huh? Needless to say, the following weeks were a little painful, and I remember my ribs starting to protrude a bit because it was hard to eat anything. Hope you can get at least a laugh from my misery.

Now each Christmas when you see the re-run on tv, you can think of me as the stupid kid stuck to the flagpole. They really should have a message flash across the bottom of the screen: "KIDS - DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME!!"